Consider a single trip to the grocery store. On your list today is a new toothbrush, soda, sandwich bags, ground meat, milk, bread, eggs, and tissues. Pretty standard. Should be an easy trip, right?
- There are 15 types of toothbrushes, all different colors, from extra soft to extra firm. Which is the right one?
- Regular or diet or caffeine-free soda — and which brand?
- Sandwich bags come in 50 or 150 or 300, fold-top, single or double zipper-top.
- Ground meat is available as extra lean, lean, or regular, in varying package sizes.
- Milk can be whole, 2 percent, non-fat, skim, fat-free, enriched, in regular, soy or almond.
- Bread in plain white or honey wheat or 7-gran or 12-grain or multigrain all in different brands.
- Seven types of eggs – organic and how many do you need?
- Tissues come in small square boxes or medium boxes or large rectangular ones. They could be scented or non-scented, colored or not, with lotion or not, in 100-count or 200-count boxes.
Then when you’ve overcome all of those choices and make your way to the checkout, do you choose the regular line, express line, or the self-checkout line? Paper or plastic or both? Cash, credit, or debit? Any coupons? Cash back? Need any help out? Groceries in the front seat or trunk?
We live in a complex world that has the capacity not only to trigger our emotions but also to inundate our minds. The more we feel compelled to do, the more energy our lives require. A hurried, fast-paced life is draining. Bit by bit, detail by detail, the sheer weight of our lives can wear us down, leaving us feeling inadequate and devastated.
The pace of life can be daunting, threatening to overwhelm even the resilient. Keeping your emotional balance from jumping from task to task, demand to demand, can be acrobatic even for the resilient. But what happens when you take a stressful life full of tasks and demands and add onto that a belief system that “knows” you’re not good enough, that “knows” you don’t deserve to be happy? Or what happens when you take that stressful life and add onto it a belief system that says happiness can only be found when you’re in total control?
In order to recover from depression, understanding the role of emotions is vital, but you must also understand the role of the intellect, of the mind. Recognizing what you feel is one step in the recovery process, but another step is recognizing what you know — what you believe to be true — because what you “know” may not, in fact, be the truth.
Let’s look at the example of a half-empty glass. The truth is, yes, the glass is half empty, but is that all there is to it? If the glass is half empty, isn’t it also half full? The truth of a half empty glass is that the glass is also half full. Those people who see a half empty glass actually see an empty glass because, to them, the glass should always be full to the brim. If the glass is not brimming, then that glass is unsatisfactory; it will always contain emptiness and loss.
No one’s glass is ever truly filled all of the time. Life simply doesn’t operate that way. instead, the truth is even a half empty glass has fullness. Those who are depressed don’t see half empty, they see completely empty. Some will rage because the glass never seems to be full. Others will despair because they are convinced they aren’t worthy of even a half empty glass. Others will quietly accept the fact that the glass will never be full for them. They look at the glass and see what isn’t there instead of what is. They focus on the lack of what is absent instead of the presence of what is there.
To learn more about intellectual integrity, and how it assists in depression recovery, read Part 2 of this article.
If you are struggling with depression, The Center • A Place of HOPE can help. Call us at 1-888-771-5166 to speak confidentially with a specialist.