What are the loves of your life? I’m not talking about people here but rather about the things you truly love to do – your hobbies and interests. It may be your personality, your ability to keep them laughing for hours with your gift of humor, your skill at conversation. Perhaps it’s your compassion for those in need. It may be how your relate to children, to the elderly, to the homeless. These are all part of your emotional DNA – the unique twists and turns that make you the special person you are.
Perhaps you’ve been emotionally exhausted for so long that you’ve put your loves on a shelf. Depression may have kept you isolated and afraid. You may have actually forgotten what once got you excited about life. Perhaps the model train you used to have on display for the neighborhood kids to enjoy is gathering dust in your attic. At one time you loved photography but now you don’t even know where your camera is located.
You may once had a smile as broad as all outdoors, but your life’s circumstances have taken your smile away. It’s not that you don’t want to smile, but rather you feel you no longer have much about which to smile.
My grandfather, a miner who owned silver and gold mines in Idaho, loved to pan for gold and to use the nuggets he found to make necklaces for the women in our family. These were handmade, pure gold nugget-laden necklaces – beautiful, personal works of art. But more than that, they were labors of love and gifts straight from my grandfather’s heart. From the day he gave one to my wife as a present, I have never seen her without it. The day he died of Lou Gehrig’s disease, my mother sat singing to him at his bedside, the gold nugget necklace around her neck reflecting the light from an open window. Today that heartfelt gift keeps on giving, bringing joy to the water and to all who see and appreciate this love-made piece of jewelry.
I tell you this story to encourage you to look deep within and beneath the mountain of hurt that may have buried some of your great loves. You certainly don’t have to be a wood carver or a gold miner. That’s not the point. It’s not the cleverness of the gift but the attitude of the heart that gives the gift that matters. I’m confident there is something you may have put aside – a real love of your life – that you may not be ready to revisit, bring to the surface, and share with others.
Expressing the loves of your life again will help steady your course, because it will take your eyes away from yourself and focus them on others. This is something you must decide to do because it’s the right thing for you to do – not as an ego trip or to impress someone else. When you give the gift of yourself freely, without thought of the cost – anything from your great smile, to baking a cake for someone, to making a gold nugget necklace — you will be edging closer to finding the inner healing.
Authored by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center • A Place of HOPE and author of 37 books. Pioneering whole-person care nearly 30 years ago, Dr. Jantz has dedicated his life’s work to creating possibilities for others, and helping people change their lives for good. The Center • A Place of HOPE, located on the Puget Sound in Edmonds, Washington, creates individualized programs to treat behavioral and mental health issues, including eating disorders, addiction, depression, anxiety and others.